One of the hardest parts of being a new vegan (or even an old seasoned vegan) is trying to keep up with all the new products out there. I must have spent over $50 looking for the "right" vegan cheese my first year being a vegan and I have over 50 vegan/vegetarian cookbooks in my arsenal but not all the recipes are the greatest. I’m the first born so I’m used to being a Guinea Pig and now I’m your Vegan Guinea Pig. So here are my recommendations and critiques. Let me know what you think!

Monday, December 3, 2007

Helen's HORRIBLE Kitchen Vegetarian Chicken Tofu Steaks

I knew this streak of good vegan vittles was bound to come to an end. Thanks to Helen's Kitchen Vegetarian Chicken Tofu Steaks it has.

I was wandering through the freezer section of my co-op and the picture on the box looked so delicious that I just had to try it. It's been sitting in my freezer waiting for that perfect moment when I was just too tired to cook and needed good food fast. Helen offers three different ways to cook these monstrosities. In the skillet, the grill or the microwave. My first turn off was that it says in bold letters do not cook in the toaster oven. I hate the microwave and didn't feel like dragging out the the indoor grill so the skillet was my last choice.

I can't imagine how this stuff would ever cook on a grill because the second I flipped it over it began to crumble. But, it still smelled fairly promising so i just pushed all the crumbles together and kept on cooking.

I was all ready for it. I was going to have a divine "chicken" sandwich. Spelt bread, sprouts, the whole nine. I took my hot crumbled tofu and tried to get it on the bread without it completely disintegrating. I took a bite and IMMEDIATELY spit it out. I think I also made some funny noises because even my cat raised an eyebrow at me. Honestly, plain uncooked tofu straight out the package would've been better than these chicken tofu steaks. There's no way you could dress these little nuggets of horror up to make them even kind of decent.

My recommendation: STAY AWAY! STAY FAR AWAY!


  1. LOL! - supernovadiva

  2. You must've cooked them wrong because they are AMAZING. Even my meat eating boyfriend LOVES them.

  3. To each his own, I still found these to be one of the most disgusting things I have ever put in my mouth

  4. I actually read your article before trying these. They had them on sale at my local grocer buy 1 get one free, so I went for it despite your article. I'm not much for following directions so I neither grilled, fried or microwaved them; I baked them. They are pre-baked in the first place so it totally made sense to me. I ate it with some mash potatoes with mushroom gravy, and green beans and I enjoyed them. However, I tried to eat it as a burger and it did not taste so good. It is tofu and I have learned tofu isn't good with everything. I'll try to eat it like a salad on bread and see how that works. I just think it is something that you have to experiment with. I mean, you can try to create a taco with it... I'll try and let you know. But I totally understand if you never want to eat them again.

  5. Thanks for the update LalalaRue! I painfully worked my way through the box of tofu steaks and every way I prepared them I just didn't like them. I'm of the thinking that if I have to doctor it up then I might as well save some money and just buy tofu and cook it the way I want to. The flavors used for these tofu steaks just didn't sit well with me. But I'm glad you like them! By the way, the dinner you described sounds like yummy comfort food. I think I might have to have that tomorrow night for dinner, with my own tofu creation of course ;)

    Keep the comments coming!

  6. I know this is an old post... but I just came across it.

    You MUST have cooked these all wrong because they are fantastic!! Mine didn't crumble at all.

    I just ate one for the first time, and it's now my latest obsession. I didn't even put it on bread or with any sides. I just put the steak on a plate and ate it with a fork. It was delicious.

  7. Sounds like they had been thawed and refrozen. Of course you can't eat these thinking they are going to taste like chicken (only chicken tastes like chicken). I think they are pretty good cut up and tossed in salad, but they aren't my favorite. I suggest Quorn brand products. I think they are the best by far! Good luck on your quest!!

  8. Wow I certainly hoped they hadn't been thawed and refrozen. I'm sure that has to be against some type of food safety code. I haven't eaten chicken in over 7 years so I wasn't expecting them to taste like chicken, just to taste good. Unfortunately it failed on all fronts. But I am glad that there are people out there who like it. Just wasn't for me.

    As far as Quorn goes, for any vegan reading this Quorn products are not vegan. They all contain at least eggs.

  9. Oh yeah... sorry... I forgot I was on a Vegan blog.... They are good for Ovo Vegetarians! Good luck still in your quest, I will let you know if I run across anything.

  10. My daughter loves these fried in a little oil and spinkled with a touch of garlic and black pepper. Also good cubed and sauted with minced garlic and Thai Peanut sauce on top of rice.(we experiment with different gluten-free sauces but this is her favorite)


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